Sunday 25th November 2001 (two months later)
QUESTION: The last time we did an interview was about
two months ago. At that time you were very depressed and
feeling suicidal. Can you bring us up to date? How are
you feeling now?
I feel better. I don't need drugs anymore. I am OK right
now because I am concentrating on my work. Now I have
quit school. This year I am not going to learn. This will
allow me to concentrate more on my web magazine and building
my online book shop. Next May I am planning to go and
learn in a business college in Bangkok. I am not sure
QUESTION: What about your depression? Do you still
think about killing yourself?
I don't feel like that anymore. It just disappeared by
itself. I don't really know how it went. It was probably
because I was staying at my grandmum's house and I had
nothing to do. That was why I thought about it. But now
I think that was very stupid. Very stupid. I shouldn't
have said that. If I died my parents would hurt a lot.
I shouldn't do that. But, in that mood, when I was depressed,
I didn't think about that. It's like I wasn't in control.
QUESTION: When was the last time you took drugs?
Long time ago. I cannot remember now.
QUESTION: Are you thinking about drugs now?
No, not anymore. I now know the drugs were hurting my
mind and stopping me from thinking clearly. Even two months
after I stopped I couldn't concentrate on my work or make
simple decisions about my life. I won't touch them again
QUESTION: What about your friends? Are some of them
still taking drugs?
Yes, most of them. Still the same. No difference. But
I am different because I came back to work on my web magazine.
I have something to concentrate on. Even when my friends
ring and ask if I want to go out or go to a drugs party
I say no I have to work.
QUESTION: So, you are seeing less of your friends now?
Yes, that is right.
QUESTION: Is that the best way for you to quit drugs?
The best way is not to go out and hang around with your
friends who are still taking drugs. Even if they don't
ask you to take it, you might not be able to control yourself.
Then you will be back in hell.
QUESTION: That's amazing you saying that now. I think
it was about four months ago, most of us were saying that
you should spend less time with your friends. I think
you also received a lot of letters from people around
the world who said the same thing. Are you now saying
that it would have been better if you had stopped seeing
your friends back then?
That's right. I didn't believe anyone. When they tried
to stop me seeing my friends that made me moody and be
angry a lot. When they tried to stop me I just did the
opposite way by going out all the time. Now, they don't
say anything. They just ask one time. All of this is my
idea not to be with my friends. I don't see them much
now. I am happy because I can see it is working. I am
also happy because it was my decision. I am really sorry
that I didn't listen to you and my parents before. But,
during that time it was like the drugs were controlling
QUESTION: When I was preparing for this interview earlier,
I was surprised that only 6-7 months have passed since
you first started experimenting with drugs. Are you amazed
how quickly you became addicted and then how much your
life changed so dramatically because of that?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I shouldn't have tried it. Even one
time. Just that one time changed everything. I used to
be in the top class. My grades were always 3.5 and higher.
But, after I started taking drugs, I missed school a lot
and got into trouble with my teachers and the police.
I also started stealing money. Ten, twenty baht at first.
Then later 100 and 200 baht. I don't know what I was thinking.
I don't know why I did that for. It's like drugs changed
everything. I have never done anything like that in the
past. I have never thought about that kind of thing before.
Even when I didn't have money I never stole. This now
makes me embarrassed and ashamed.
QUESTION: Did that change things when your parents
Yes. They didn't really trust me anymore. They carefully
put their money away. Even now they don't trust me 100%.
I am not angry because I started it. So, I can't complain.
Back then all I thought about was drugs. Only drugs. Every
day the first thing I thought about was where was I going
to find the money to pay for drugs. We all thought about
that every day. We always found money by stealing, selling
stuff or bullying younger kids. Before, I used to stop
my friends when I saw them bullying younger kids. But,
the drugs changed me. People knew they shouldn't mess
with me or my group of friends.
QUESTION: OK. I now want to look back at some of the
things you said in an earlier interview. I think it was
Interview Two that you said it is Ok for kids to try one
time. You even said that you would let your own kids try
drugs one time. What do you think about that now?
That was all rubbish. Just that one time sent me straight
to hell. It was very hard for me to come back. I have
been through that so I know how hard it is. Even when
I am older I will never forget that I was a drug addict
and how far downhill I went.
QUESTION: Will you tell your kids you were on drugs?
No.... Maybe. I am not sure. If they start taking drugs
I am going to tell them and help them. I am sure I will
understand them because I have got these interviews. I
will remember the feeling when I was addicted to drugs.
How I treated myself. How I treated my parents.
QUESTION: What can you do to stop them taking drugs
in the first place?
I can teach them to be a good person from the time when
they know the difference between right and wrong. You
know, I have changed my mind. I will tell them when they
are old enough that I was addicted to drugs. I will show
them these interviews and show them how bad it became
QUESTION: You told me before that if teachers or parents
just say drugs are bad don't try them, then that will
make kids curious to try them. What will you say that
Drugs are fun to start with. But soon you will be down
in hell. It is important to understand that you won't
know you are down there. You won't be able to see the
difference between right and wrong. You will do anything
just to get money to buy drugs. Me and all my friends
thought we were in control. But really, drugs controlled
QUESTION: What is keeping you away from drugs now?
My web magazine, my future and my parents. That is very
important to have something like that. Hope for your future.
But, when I was on drugs I never thought about my future.
I was only thinking from day to day. I was only interested
in where I was going to find the money for drugs. It scares
me now that just that one mistake nearly destroyed all
the work I have been doing in the past four years. All
of the plans I had for my future were nearly lost. I feel
lucky that I now have the chance to rebuild my life. I
want to thank everyone that supported me and helped me
get off drugs. That support was very important to me.
I am glad they kept supporting me even though I was doing
bad things to them. If they had given up on me I don't
know where I would be today. I now wish I hadn't made
that mistake but I feel the experience has made me stronger.
I also hope these interviews will be of use to other teenagers
addicted to drugs or their family and friends. Please
don't give up. Be strong. You are not alone.
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