Confessions of a Teenage Drug Addict > Letters to a Drug Addict

"It breaks my heart to learn that you are now addicted to drugs. What were you thinking? Why did you even try? I just wish you never tried it. Taking drugs is like playing with fire, but only worse. Like practicing unsafe sex, you can just have it once and get AIDS.....for some people, it only takes one try to become addicted to drugs. Don't try anymore stuff, ok? And I hope you will get over your current addiction soon. Get help if you need to. Talk to you parents. I am very worried about you. Know one thing though that it's so much cooler to be in control of your own life and resist the temptations to do what many other friends do. That's called maturity, that's called being smart, and that's what being a real "MAN" is all about. Trying all these adolescent things will not make you a real man----only a bad BOY. You are a very special person and have a very promising future ahead of you. Please don't ruin it." - Kaew

"The letter to the people about your problem took tremendous courage. I wish you good luck and hope that maybe you would work with some of my 6th grade class once our school starts." - Veanne

"Enjoyed reading your diary immensely. Do hope that you are able to kick your drug addiction and am awaiting the next interview. Hope for a happy ending...I am an optimist." - Janie

"Your latest diary updates are quite shocking. It is one thing reading about this kind of thing in the newspaper but another to see it happening to someone you "know". I have been following your online life in Thailand for about two years now. Although I admire your honesty in writing the brutal truth, I am saddened in your downhill trend. Ever since you broke up with your girlfriend you seem to be doing all the wrong things. First smoking and drinking and now drugs. Wake up man! Drugs are not worth it. You are only hurting yourself and the people around you that care about you. If you can't quit for yourself, then do it for us and your country. You are doing a great job for Thailand. Concentrate more on making your splendid web site and less on getting into trouble. I'll be back for sure to see what happens next as yours is the best web site on Thailand." - James

"We all have our problems, so I understand how you feel. Please consider replacing the drugs with exercise and finding some different friends." - Mario

"I admire your courage in admitting these things. I think it's important to show these things do go on in ordinary lives. Not just in so called bad kid's lives." - Aaron

"I just got your newsletter. I must admit you are very brave telling everyone about your addiction to drugs. I know you must be going through a hard time at the moment as you are still not over the addiction. You have to be strong and not let the addiction win. Your body might try and trick you a few times but don't be fooled or tempted to try again. Drugs are not worth it. Believe me as I lost a close friend to drugs. She started on the easy stuff and when she got bored with that she went onto heroin. She always told me that she would never do that but she did. Thanks for being so honest and like you say, hopefully if a teenager who is thinking about taking drugs reads your diary they might think twice. It is also very helpful as a parent to understand teenagers. I will pray for you. You have my support." - June

"It takes a lot of courage to talk about one's mistakes... I feel you will be successful as you have courage... I am glad you are back and I wish you luck." - Veanne

"You sound like a sensible, normal teenager and I am amazed at how similar Thai youths are to those in my country England. Take care with the drugs mate. When it stops being fun its surely time to direct your energy somewhere else." - Joel

"yr diary seems very impressive. i hv a lots of thai frens. n being u sharing abt yr life with the people that u dun know, that's really impressive. u seems hv been going thru so much in yr life. one thing for sure, pls dun even think of drugs. a close relation of mine is suffering becoz of DRUG." - Roy

"What a complicated life you've been through. I'm so sorry to hear that. And I hope you'll get through it well. Here is some advise for you, just take good care of your life 'cause you'll have it only once. And just be you and what ever you do never look back for your mistakes." - Windra

"I hope all will work out for you and that you'll beat drugs. I am certain everyone wants to assist you in this endeavor but we all know that you will have to be the one who really has the desire to. Best of luck. We are rooting for you!"

"Dude, you had your fun, now stop smoking the crack!! ya bah!!! You don't have to smoke speed and be bad, you can just be bad! As for your friends; LOOSE them. They can not be supportive of you stopping drugs when they themselves are still taking them. I hope things work out for you. " - Daryl

"I just want to say that I hope you can control yourself about the drug soon, ok ? :-) Good luck and B Cool !" - T

"Sorry about your drug-problem, but you are very brave to speak about it. I hope you manage to quit because it is so dangerous! I think you must stop being with them who take drugs because if you dont you can't stop!" - Hannele

"I'm an elementary teacher with some (great) Thai students, and reading your thoughts and ideas really helps me know more about their world outside of school. You do amazing work and your English is terrific-- you are definitely going to be in my thoughts in the coming weeks and months as you work to get your life back where you want it to be." - Amanda

"I visited your website because I am going to Thailand and wanted to learn more about Thai people. In the end I wound up staying up all night reading you diary. It is amazing! You sound like you are very intelligent and strong willed and I have no problem beleiving that you can stay off drugs if you really set your mind to it. I also have a suggestion. In America sometimes when people feel lost in a promblem such as drug addiction, they turn to religion for help. Maybe staying off drugs would be easier for you if you went back to live in the monastary to study Buddism. It might help you get a better sense of grounding and at very least it would keep you away from the wrong type of friends."

"I'm really sorry reading about your drug problem, and how you got got addicted. I won't speak in a moral way, but you seem to be such an upstanding and clever young man - I really feel sorry for you. Keep up the good work, and try hard to pass your exams in July. And, of course, a very happy birthday to you. Try to spend it with your mother and your family, WITHOUT drugs." - Stein

"Be strong. Think of your future! You don't want to be like Nam-Pu...you know what I mean. When I was your age, the movie Nam-Pu was released with Ampon Lampoon as Nam Pu. I remember we were so scared of drugs afterwards, seeing how bad Nam-Pu had to go through, only to die at the end. You might want to rent a video and watch it....I admire your bravery and courage, and look forward to hearing good news soon. Again, remember be STRONG! ....you will definitely make a great spokesperson (after you quit, of course.)" - Kaew

"Time will help you to find out who you really are and what you really want to be in the future. I know that you are strong and smart enough to know what you're doing now. I hope that one day you will wake up and see through your life from the good, the bad and the worst of the past and use them as the most valuable lesson for yourself and for the others. Good luck." - Jeff

"I'm sorry if I'm going across the line but...how it's going about the drugs? :-O Hope you quit it soon. (actually, there are more to say. But who am I telling you to do or not to do? So the only thing I can do is just wish the best for you instead) :-)" - Yoong

"I am very happy to hear that you have chosen to tell your parents! That is a big step. Now comes the HARD part! I am positive that your parents will help you and love you more than you thought and support you in your decision." - Daryl

"I'm 16 and I live in Mexico. I found your site a month ago more or less, and I must say, it's great!... I subscribed to the newsletter and I was shocked when I read about your drugs problem. I am glad you want to quit them... and once again you shocked me... yeah.. congratulations, you are a very special guy, because you tried drugs and then noticed that you didn't want to...most guys feel immersed in this dizzy world and never quit...most of them end their lifes in horrible situations I can't even imagine. I would like to help you, but I don't know how... most of times we help people and we don't even notice, I hope this is one of those times... About your "friends" honestly I don't think they are the best company you should have right now... we all know what drugs are about and they know as well as you that drugs make you feel great for a moment but then leave you on a miserable condition, even though they didn't care and asked you to buy drugs for them... well, maybe they are so inmerse in their adiction they didn't think that you could take drugs too by helping them buying... anyway, if they aren't as strong as you to quit drugs, I think you should be apart from them right now, because you are vulnerable... Is like when you are tring to lose weight and your friend asks you to go with her and take and ice cream and then a hamburger... even though you are stronger than a stick of steel you would probably ask your friend for a small bite of her hamburger... that's natural, that's human... well, that's what I think....

One last thing, never give up, there are thousands of things waiting for us to see them!... you are not the first in this situation and unfurtunately not the last... but there is one good thing about all this; you learn something new. You know that you are weak and strong at the same time, you know that everything you do will affect your life and you will suffer the consequences meanwhile the rest of the world will live their own experiences just as you." - Alicia

"I think it is really great that you are sharing your experiences - I know this will help others who face many of the same dangers - you know because you have been there. I think you are doing a very courageous and unselfish thing in sharing your story. I keep you in my prayers and hope the days get better and better for you. Don't give up!" - Dejay

"I am so proud of you and your improvement! Way to go!!" - Kaew

"I heard that you are into drugs. Please give up on it. It is not worth it. It can ruin your life, you should think of the consequences. I would like encourage you to do something useful with life. You are young, don't ruin it, it is a long way to go.Trust me, you will have a good life if you stop taking drugs. This is not a reprimandment, but it is a encouragement. You can start a fresh, since now you are 16 years old. Don't give up hope because you lose something.Try something new. Stay cool always!" - Phloy

"I wanted to wish you luck with your fight against drugs. I too have taken drugs before and know that they can be hard to fight. When I was at school my teachers told me not to take drugs because they were bad for me. Like in your experiences, they did not say WHY drugs were bad, just that we shouldn't take them. This did not stop me and I took lots of different types anyway. It wasn't until I was older and started using the internet that I really found out what they do to you. Once I found out the way it can affect your brain and body while growing up, I decided to cut back, and eventually gave up. Maybe you could find out on the internet what these drugs do to you - it may make it easier to stop? Also, I wanted to say how lucky you are to have your family support you. I was very impressed by the amulet your mother gave you. With so much love and support I have no doubt you will beat the drugs. Hang in there." - Sharron

"The day when we were born we have to go through hardship in life one way or another. There will always be up and down in our everyday life. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol is no use. When the effects of drugs and drinks are over we will still face our problems. So stand up and face whatever difficulties in life like a man and see how beautiful tomorrow will be." - Woo

"I am a recovering addict. I have been clean for almost two years. From my experience and knowing many other recovering addicts, there is nothing anyone can do until the addict seeks help. I participate in my recovery by going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, taking the 12 steps with a sponser and attending meetings and being of service to the fellowship. People get and stay clean many different ways and I am glad for them this way works for me. Good luck and god bless."

"I have been following your story for many weeks now. I like what you are doing re keeping a diary. It has been fascinating, and obviously of concern to lots of us, to follow your battle with drugs. I am sure everyone who reads your story wishes you the very best of luck in getting the drug habit beaten. To even share your experiences with such a huge number of people shows a certain maturity in itself. You will beat this, I know. Look forward to your next installment." - Dennis

"I wanted to say thank you for sharing your personal diary and your experiences with drugs. I have gotten high on weed before but never ya bah or anything. Good job.. I hope you're doing well." - Pam

"It was so sad to read about GOR's battle with drugs and to know this horrible problem is EVERYWHERE. It is in my life as well. I have a grown son who is addicted to drugs, and my heart is breaking for him. He got clean after an overdose a few years ago (he took zanax, among other things), but stayed clean for two years and is now worse than he was the first time. The hardest thing for a mother is not being able to do something to stop this addiction.... because I learned in al-anon that 1. I didn't cause it 2. I can't control it and 3. I can't cure it. So....I just pray a lot. For my son, as well as all the others out there, struggling with this terrible disease. God bless them all."

"Your diary is getting interesting. I know many people that will be interested in this site. I'm very proud of you for trying to quit drugs. I have one friend who is getting addicted to drugs. I can't help him, because we are only internet friends. He's very depressed, and unlike you, he doesn't have anyone there to support him or encourage him to stop being so bad. I hope you make a good decision with your life." - Jonil

"I am so sorry that your "friends" encouraged you back into drugs. It is always going to be difficult for you to stay away from taking drugs whilst you put yourself in a drug taking society of friends. You must know that yourself. A clean break from drugs will only be possible when you change that part of your social life. You have the immense talent within yourself. You must not allow yourself to be overcome by the weakness but allow your strength to overcome those aspects of your life that are destroying you and those who love you. Be sure that drugs are hurting not only you but those close to you that really love you. I truly wish you total success in your efforts to over come your addiction. Make those efforts into A FIGHT against drugs for yourself and for others. You have the talent to help others in their fight but only when you fight for yourself first." - David

"I was wondering why they don't have something for the kids to do in rehab they need counseling and some thing to help them get all this behind them lots of luck to the young man don't give up." - Dutch

"You made me cry so much when I read your latest interview. Please, please, please don't even think about killing yourself. You may feel like everything has gone wrong in your world but I promise you things will soon start to get better. You have so many people cheering for you around the world. Get your strength from us and get your life back on track. You can do it. I know you can!" - Julia, USA

"Please please hang in there. I've been reading your diary/interviews for many months now, and I know that if anyone can get through this, it's you. You are such a gifted Thai person, and I'm very proud of you. If at any time you start to slip into sadness, just look at your website and what you've accomplished. Much more than the average person your age, much more than what I did at your age na ja. Don't feel down, you have such a promising future. I will pray for you." - P'Amy

"An excellent article. Please if anyone can, I think Gor needs someone to be tough with him, especially since he is talking about killing himself. When I was his age, I said I didn't want help either, but there was one person who put me back in my place firmly but with the love as a friend. I think he he is crying out. I hope someone listens." - ST

"I am very sorry about your problems. I am 17, male, and I live in USA. I started doing drugs when I was 12. There are a lot of drugs in my town so they are very easy for me to get. I mostly just smoke marijuana, but I have tried many other drugs. I have pneumonia now for my third time, and my health really sucks. So now, I want to quit drugs, but I smoked marijuana many times a day for the last 5 years, and I grew up around my parents doing drugs, and then my sister doing drugs it for my whole life. My sister got me started doing drugs, but I still love her more then anyone. She got pregnant, and moved away, and I haven't seen her for 2 years now, but she still does drugs every day. Mostly marijuana, hash, and opium. I haven't done it for two days, but tonight I did, and then I wished I hadn't. I used to do cocaine, opium, and mushrooms to, and I've done other drugs too. But I haven't for a few months now. There is a lot of meth amphetamine in my town, and I have many friends who are addicted, and I've watched them do it many times, but I've always been too scared to try it, and I never will, especially now after reading your diary. So I have you to thank. I really hope you can succeed in staying off drugs. I think I can too. Good luck." - Chris, USA

"Please don't give up!!! I'm sure you can make it even if it's very hard. You are an exceptional person: all the job you have done with the web site is a demonstration. I have a very close friend who passed drug problems as you, but he made it and now he enjoys life. I wish you the same!" - Adrea, Hungary

"Please, PLEASE admit you have a problem. I'm not sure you have really done this yet, honestly. You not only need to admit your problem to do something about it. Entrust yourself to the care of others who care about you, and let them help you. But, you also must want to help yourself. I was so disturbing to read things that indicated that the option of taking your life had been thought about by you. Don't be a coward. Accept help, and face the problem, and resolve to beat it. BEAT IT!! I am sure there are heaps of us who want to help, but as we live in other parts of the world we are not sure how, other than by sending messages of support. I hope these do help you." - Dennis, New Zealand

"I have been thinking about you please don't give up it will get better and you have so much to offer. I have enjoyed your web page so much you have such talent don't waste it, hang in there. I am betting on you." Mimi

"Hi, ive read through your'e interveiws and i want to tell you that it scared me a little bit. You must be a very strong person to be able to go through such an ordeal." Star

"I normally visit your site regularly but haven't since the summer. I cried when I read how you'd become addicted to drugs but I am so happy and proud that you have stopped now. Keep it up." - Candy, England

"Hi there! Such an insightful website you've got here that allowed me to experience the life of a teenage ex-drug addict! Such a close and real experience for me! Really glad to see that you've stayed away from drugs. Please keep away from drugs for life ya? We all wish you well. Anyway, just to let you know: try not to feel too disappointed about your life as we humans are never perfect. Everyone had their bad days. Be strong. You will be surprised to know how much stronger you actually are than what you think. When feeling down, pick yourself up again and start moving forward. Anyway, just wanna let you know that you've been a brave guy. All the best!!!" - Karen, Singapore

"I also am a young person with almost two years clean and sober. Your higher power is watching you...always remember." - Rebecca

"You are a very strong man and you are very lucky to have the support of this interviewer. I will remember what you said about not being angry with the user if they fall and try not to upset them. Only to remind them of their mum and family and all who love them. I will use that as I assist my auntie recover. Best of luck to you in the future!" - Nesta

"My name is Camie, I am a 28-year-old woman from Canada who will be visiting Thailand at the beginning of May. I started looking at your site to learn some Thai words and then became curious about the link to your interviews on drug addiction. I thought you were an amazing boy before I knew you were a recovering drug addict...now, words can't express how much I respect you. You are an incredible young man with lots of talent and amazing dedication. I am very much looking forward to seeing your country. Thank you so much for putting together this great website and I wish you continued success in all your endeavours." Camie, Canada

"I have read your secret diary and seen many of your webs . I thaugh that you are very smart .If I was at your age I dare say that I cannot do the things that you have done. You have done great. Everybody can have the dark side and the secret life that would like to burrow deeply. But you are very brave to express your secret life for everybody to know. You are very lucky that you have a good teacher " Richard " who not only teachs you but also accompanies you . I am looking forward for your next diary pages ." - Narumon

"You were very brave and generous to share your experiences with everybody. I'm sure many people will find inspiration in your ability to kick the drug habit. Good luck to you in staying clean in the future." - Steve

"I have been now already about 4 hours reading your story of your life.the interwiews schoked me a lot!Boy, listen life can be so beautiful..dont waste your time on this bullshit of drugs and so on.Your are such a good boy and also so sweet,stop with this shit of drugs, belive me!! I dont know why, but now i feel so close to you..i like to speak to you and help you. Write me back..I think we would understand each other very good!and maybe i have the opportunity to visit you." - Stefania

"One time I was addicted to marijuana I was scared for my life.I lost all family love and could not take part of and activities because I needed to smoke a joint.My friends fear for me I mite die tommorrow please help me." - John

"I am a teacher of physics and science at a school in Holland. I printed the teacher version of your series of interviews on your addiction and gave it to my pupils in Secondary 4 for reading. I later discussed it with them. I think it is of great interest for them and they really liked to talk about it. Thank you for revealing so much of your life." Will

"I love your secret diary the most..It's the fact of life that the society tries to hide..Thai society still can't accept the way that a youth would come out to say something he's feeling and recieving..I'm happy with you that you quit all those bad things..I know sometime you can feel that there is no reason for living...I used to search for it..And i didn't find.. I have to say that now i turn my way...from being a teacher... I'm a program director now..I work for a christian church...and I'm into it... This is my reason for living... and I'm the only one christian in my family... " Toon, Thailand

"hello.I am a editor of Tianjin People's Publishing House in China.I saw the news about you in one Daily of China.and I just read some contents of your diary and moved by what you have writen.I have an idea to publish your diary in China (I know you may publish it in your country).Are you interested in it?I hope to hear from you soon." - wangkang

"Thanks for this interesting Interview. Unfortunately, I came across it too late. My Ex-wife is addicted to Ya Ba and I didn't recognize it. She never admitted it or told anyone about it. But now I can see all the symptoms in her behaviour. Only I think she's worse off, because I'm sure she's taking very very much. Now, she has problems with the police, with the mafia, with her family. She doesn't have anything any more. She fucked up her life totally. I don't have contact with her any more. I'd like to help her but I can't do it for this reason. She's been lying and cheating all the time. She could have had a very comfortable and nice life. I loved her very much and I would do anything for her. She finished with me because she doesn't want to bother me any more. She didn't tell me the reason but now I know why. I knew "something" before but I wasn't sure. And any attempt to talk with her made her angry and moody...
Why do I write this ? Because I want anyone to know that Ya Ba is dangerous. She is very intelligent but she's not able to stop. She had the opportunity to get help from me and my family. I would have done anything to help her. And now her life is...don't need to mention the details, but as I said before... fucked up TOTALLY. No money, no job, police and the mafia is after her, no friends any more, nowhere to stay any more. (she didn't pay for her room), the owner of the room took ALL her things.... And what's worse of all: She called me last week and told me lies again. She told me she hasn't got any problems...." - Frost

"Your series of interviews was very interesting. I am also an ex using drug addict so I suppose I have some understanding of the problem even though getting clean in Thailand is different to my experience in a western country . I travel to thailand often and I have visited Tanurak Hospital and other rehabs in Thailand. I was surprised to see so many young people in there, some as young as 11-12 ! I wish you well. " - Nick

"Gor, your interview is extremely inspirational - it was hard to keep the tears away from my eyes! Your story has truly touched me in an amazing way, and I commend you to continue to be a corageous man in your desire to keep far from drugs. You seem to have learned a lot from your mistakes, of which is highly honourable; I want to thank you for all the support and energy you bestow to keep "the worlds" teenagers away from drugs. Your story only confirms that every moment in life is a moment of learning, even in the deepest, darkest times... I love you brother!" - Dhand

"I was very impressed with your interview and how you overcame your drug habit. I am a father in the U.S. I have a 24 year old son who went to prison for drugs. He now has overcome and is doing wonderfully. My heart is always close to anyone who has experienced the drug demon. I have never taken or sold drugs. At first it was hard for me to understand my son and why he wanted to do that. This occurred about 6 years a and I lost touch with him because he refused to talk to me. I guess he felt ashamed. I hadn't seen my son for more than five years, but has recently started communication again because he want to see me now. Reading the accounts of your life has given me a little more insight of how important a roll peer pressure play in young people lives. I tried to figure out for many years what I had done wrong. I finally realized that it was my sons choice and I just need to be there for him whenhe needed me. This is where we are now. He calls me on his own and asks me why hadn't I called him sooner. (He use to tell me to stay out of his business) So I thank you for sharing a part of your life with the world. Surely you have helped thousands, but if it had only been 1, it has ot been in vain. Thanks." - John, USA